How to Tell That You have Entered a New Year

[ABabeNChrist]

• You hear most of your jokes via e-mail instead of in person.

• Your grandmother clogs up your e-mail inbox asking you to send her a JPEG file of your newborn so she can create a screen saver.

• You enter your password on the microwave.

• You haven't played solitaire with a real deck of cards in years.

• You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of four.

• You chat several times a day with a stranger from Canada, but you haven't spoken with your next door neighbor all last year.

• You check the ingredients on a can of chicken noodle soup to see if it contains Echinacea.

• You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home.

• You buy a computer and a week later it is out of date and now sells for half the price you paid.

• The concept of using real money instead of credit or debit to make a purchase is foreign to you.

• Your idea of being organized is multi-coloured Post-it notes.

• You're reading this.

[HansV]

Several of these are true, but they were true last year too...

[ABabeNChrist]

And here are some wise words to start the New Year

• The early worm gets eaten!

• There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.

• Never argue with a fool, people may not know the difference.

• Lead me not into temptation (I can find the way myself).

• You can't skip and be unhappy at the same time.

• I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.