Spell Chequer

[Graeme]

I have a spelling checker.
It came with my PC.
It plainly marks four my revue,
Mistake I cannot sea.
I've run this poem threw it,
I'm sure your please too no.
Its letter perfect in it's weigh,
My checker tolled me sew.

[GeoffW]

However, ChatGPT manages to correct it correctly, thus spoiling a very good storey.

[John Gray]

The longer version I have is:
P O E M

I have a spelling checker,
It came with my PC.
It plane lee marks four my revue
Miss steaks aye can knot see.

Eye ran this poem threw it.
Your sure real glad two no.
Its very polished in its weigh,
My checker tolled me sew.

A checker is a blessing.
It freeze yew lodes of thyme.
It helps me right awl stiles two reed,
And aides me when aye rime.

Each frays come posed up on my screen
Eye trussed too bee a joule.
The checker pours o'er every word
To cheque sum spelling rule.

Bee fore a veiling checkers
Hour spelling mite decline,
And if we're laks oar have a laps,
We wood bee maid too wine.

Butt now bee cause my spelling
Is checked with such grate flare,
There are know faults with in my cite,
Of nun eye am a wear.

Now spelling does not phase me,
It does knot bring a tier.
My pay purrs awl due glad den
With wrapped words fare as hear.

To rite with care is quite a feet
Of witch won should be proud,
And wee mussed dew the best wee can,
Sew flaws are knot aloud.

Sow ewe can sea why aye dew prays
Such soft wear four pea seas,
And why eye brake in two averse
Buy righting want too please.

It's very much of its time, probably around the 1980s, when the first IBM PC became available, and everything was new and exciting.
GirlFriend 2.0 was of the same era (no, I'm not going to quote it), and exhibited the same childish fascination with words, which palled very rapidly...

[Jay Freedman]

It's not surprising that English is one of the most difficult languages to learn.

“The problem with defending the purity of the English language is that English is about as pure as a cribhouse whore. We don’t just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary.” -- James D. Nicoll

[BobH]

Great quote, Jay. Thanks for sharing it.

[ChrisGreaves]

...the same childish fascination with words, which palled very rapidly...

But faded only in some circles ...
Cheers, Chris

[ChrisGreaves]

It's not surprising that English is one of the most difficult languages to learn.

I submit that English is one of the easiest, if not THE easiest European language to learn.
Any reputable bookshop, in its Languages section, will have books titled "501 verbs in Spanish", and "501 French verbs" and the like, but never a book "501 English verbs", because there is no need for such a book.

The Spanish, French verb books devote a page, sometimes two pages, to each verb, with the Present Indicative, the Pluperfect, the Conditional Subjunctive (I am making some of this up), with the six conjugations for each sense (single and plural) for three persons. A page full of different spellings and pronunciation.

English by comparison has just the past and the present tense.
Complete this sentence:-
Yesterday I sat; today I sit; tomorrow I _____________.
Complete this sentence:-
Yesterday I ate; today I eat; tomorrow I _____________.

English uses a few auxiliary verbs to do away with over 500 pages.
Will, would, can, could, shall, should, and also have/had.

My experience with ESL students is that they have almost NO problems with verb conjugations in English because, well, basically there aren't any conjugations to have problems with.

English spelling is atrocious, true, but then so must every nation's spelling be so since around 1450 when the printing chapels fixed spelling in phonetic concrete. Humans the world over of course change language year by year. John Caxton chose London (Kentish) English because London would be his most profitable market. Then the English spoken language continued to evolve but Caxton's spelling did not.

I have an idea of today's high school students being confused in Eng. Lit. class by "Each Christmas we visited grandma and grandpa and had a gay old time".

My understanding of Chinese ideographic(?) written language is that it is unchanged from 2,000 years ago, but that the spoken language would be confusing to a time-traveller.
Cheers, Chris

[John Gray]

Chris: an erudite summary, but no mention of the Proto-Indo-European language...!

Furthermore, your sentence beginning "English spelling is atrocious, true..." should really have read "American spelling is atrocious, true..."