eye test

[stuck]

An Eastern European goes to get their eyes tested. The bottom line of the eye chart has the letters:

    C Z Y N Q S T A S Z

The optometrist asks, "Can you read the bottom line?"

"Read it?" the person replies, "I know the guy!"

[John Gray]

Reminiscent of the historic article...

CLINTON DEPLOYS VOWELS TO BOSNIA

Cities of Sjlbvdnzv, Grzny to be First Recipients

Before an emergency joint session of Congress yesterday, President
Clinton announced US plans to deploy over 75,000 vowels to the war-torn
region of Bosnia. The deployment, the largest of its kind in American
history, will provide the region with the critically-needed letters
A, E, I, O and U, and it is hoped to render countless Bosnian names
more pronounceable.

"For six years, we have stood by while names like Ygrjvslhv and Tzlynhr
and Glrm have been horribly butchered by millions around the world,"
Clinton said. "Today, the United States must finally stand up and say
'Enough.' It is time the people of Bosnia finally had some vowels in
their incomprehensible words. The US is proud to lead the crusade in
this noble endeavour."

The deployment, dubbed Operation Vowel Storm by the State Department,
is set for early next week, with the Adriatic port cities of Sjlbvdnzv
and Grzny slated to be the first recipients. Two C-130 transport
planes, each carrying over 500 24-count boxes of "E's", will fly from
Andrews Air Force Base across the Atlantic and airdrop the letters
over the cities.

Citizens of Grzny and Sjlbvdnzv eagerly await the arrival of the vowels.
"My God, I do not think we can last another day," Trszg Grzdnjkln, 44,
said. "I have six children and none of them has a name which is
understandable to me or to anyone else. Mr Clinton, please send my
poor, wretched family just one 'E'. Please." Said Sjlbvdnzv resident
Grg Hmphrs, 67: "With just a few key letters, I could be George
Humphries. This is my dream."

The airdrop represents the largest deployment of any letter to a foreign
country since 1984. During the summer of that year, the US shipped
92,000 consonants to Ethiopia, providing cities like Ouaouoaua,
Eaoiiuae and Aao with vital, life-giving supplies of L's, S's and T's.
The consonant-relief effort failed, however, when vast quantities of the
letters were intercepted and hoarded by violent, gun-toting warlords.

[GeoffW]

The consonant-relief effort failed, however, when vast quantities of the letters were intercepted and hoarded by violent, gun-toting warlords.

Irritable vowel syndrome

[HansV]

I assume the vowels were donated by Finland.

[ChrisGreaves]

"Read it?" the person replies, "I know the guy!"

I didn't see that one coming.
Maybe it's time for an eye-check.

A parallel joke (Ronnie Barker?) has the punch line "Printed by E.G.Chapman, Printers, Bristol"
Cheers
I

[ChrisGreaves]

CLINTON DEPLOYS VOWELS TO BOSNIA

Rumour on the street has it that The Yanks never got past the A-bomb.
Cheers, Chris

[GeoffW]

Maybe it's time for an eye-check.

I check? O, U should.

[ChrisGreaves]

I check? O, U should.

I think so!
Today I saw a video that appeared to say "Virat Kohli's team bowled out for 36 in Adelaide defeat"
Thirty-six? That can't be right, surely?
Also two of the Aussie side scored double-tons?
Cheers, Chris

[GeoffW]

I can't see that video - but presumably that low score occurred in a test match in 2020.

The two double centuries took place in a test match being played now.

[John Gray]

The consonant-relief effort failed, however, when vast quantities of the letters were intercepted and hoarded by violent, gun-toting warlords.

Irritable vowel syndrome

[ChrisGreaves]

I can't see that video - but presumably that low score occurred in a test match in 2020.
The two double centuries took place in a test match being played now.

Thank you Geoff. I confess to being confused. When first I watched it I figured it was played at the WACA, Herdsman Island, Melville Water and all that, Australia vs India, but then I saw references to Adelaide.
I thought that I had seen a double ton, and a collapse of something like 6 for 39 or so
Cheers, Chris

[stuck]

I assume the vowels were donated by Finland.

Probably, they have so many they often cross out the letter 'o'.

Ken